Cheryl Zaidan
The Blood Crazed Blonde from Lake Beyond by Cheryl Zaidan
It’s been almost two decades since B-movie actress Barbara Lynne starred in the cult classic Blood Crazed Blondes from Lake Beyond. And while she’s been able to make a steady living out of low-budget horror since then, Barbara knows her time is limited. After a few less than flattering reviews telling her, in essence, “It’s time to put your clothes back on lady”, Barbara decides to trade in the wackiness of L.A. for a more peaceful existence in the rural town of Revelation, Louisiana.
At first all is well in her new surroundings. But as Barbara soon finds out, that idyllic existence may not be so idyllic. That even the friendliest of towns can have a few demons lurking about. And that Barbara’s perfect new life sounds less and less peaceful and more like the plot of one of her films. For the first time, Barbara is truly frightened – an odd feeling for someone who spent most of her adult life naked, covered in blood and feigning fear. But armed only with a lifetime of bad horror movie knowledge can Barb save the town, and perhaps herself?
The Book Doctors: LOVE this title! And this is such a cool idea for a story. Barbara Lynne just jumps off the page—I feel like I could point her out if she walked down the street. And I love the idea of her finally getting out of the seedy world of low-budget horror into some lovely environment only to find out it’s a real life horror story! The professional naked victim becomes a real life target for murder most foul. So fun and funny. And the construction of the pitch is spot on. But I need to know more about the machinations of the plot. Who are the bad guys? Or, at least, who do we suspect they are? What actually happens? Give us some scenes that send chills up and down our spines involving our heroine and some terrible peril. Give us some crazy twists and turns in the story. Give us a wacky cast of characters that we suspect of the foul play. And why does she go to Revelation? It would be good if she had some goal, something she’s trying to accomplish.
Dawn Sorenson
Peasant to Prince by Dawn Sorenson
Life isn’t easy for a princess, especially when she sets her sights on a charming stable hand instead of the princes she is supposed to fall for.
In a small country named Orilon, a young princess named Eleanor Westra falls in love with a dazzling stable hand by the name of Claude Resdeus. He is smart, kind, and probably the most handsome man she has never seen. He has all of the qualities that none of the princes available to her have. Except, of course, Claude is no prince. Regardless, they choose to hide their relationship, seeing each other right under the noses of her parents.
But when a rogue attack on Orilon finds its way into the castle grounds, Eleanor’s father is forced to send her off with Claude as her guard. With a sword and a horse they are sent riding through the countryside, fleeing from the feral Inic tribe that seeks to destroy their homeland. Their destination is her parents’ vacation home on the tropical beaches of an allied country, an ideal retreat, if they weren’t leaving behind their home and their families in a war stricken state.
In the most unlikely of situations, Claude and Eleanor’s relationship will be tested in ways they never could have imagined. Can it survive the hurdles thrown at them by their escape and the impassioned decisions made in the dead of the night?
The Book Doctors: This is such a bodice ripper, I can practically see the cover! This is one of the great tropes in storytelling. The Princess and the stable boy who are thrown together by war and find forbidden love. There’s a reason this kind of story has been around for so long: people love these kinds of stories. But what is a valuable asset can also be a detriment. Because the story is so familiar, you have to really work hard to differentiate yours. There has to be something new that you’re adding to the conversation. And some of this just seems not very original. For example, when you call the love interest “dazzling … smart, kind and probably the most handsome man.” Those are words I’ve heard so many times that they’ve lost a lot of their meaning. There’s nothing unexpected about them. And the story you tell seems to be kind of general. For example, I don’t get a full sense of the danger when they are riding on the horse through the feral tribe. You don’t paint enough of a specific word picture, and I don’t understand quite what the consequences will be if they get caught. I would like you to show us a scene where we actually see their romance blossom instead of you just telling us about it. And it’s really important for us to understand how much of a romance book this is by associating it with other books that you think are similar, again in the broadest sense.
Kate Buchanan
Last Resort by Kate Buchanan
Getting himself a spot on the plane was just the first step. Now Tav , an eighteen-year-old from Toronto, has a mystery to solve. He must figure out what really happened to his older sister, Sophia, more than three years ago. She disappeared deep in the wilds of northern Canada, but Tav knows there’s more to the story than what his parents have told him.
Along with eleven other teenagers, he’s bound for a two week stay in a remote, forested area, with nothing but a few supplies and an eager guide. But when both the guide and the supplies go missing, the so-called camping trip turns into a fight for survival. As the teens battle mother nature and the wilderness, Tav is faced with a dilemma – use his survival skills to aid his fellow campers, or abandon them and hunt for clues about his missing sister. When he begins to discover strange messages carved into the rocks around camp, Tav must revisit what he thought he knew. It soon becomes clear that nothing is as it seems and not all of the campers are who they appear to be, himself included.
At the sardonically named ‘Last Resort’, Tav learns a crucial lesson – that sometimes searching for someone else is the only way to find yourself.
The Book Doctors: I really like this modern day Call of the Wild, with the murder mystery folded in. So our hero’s fighting several different things at the same time: Mother Nature, his own limitations, his fellow campers, and the difficulties of piecing together the facts of his sister’s disappearance. I also like that it’s in the wilds of northern Canada. I’d like you to show us more of that in this pitch. Convince us of your skills in taking us to this world that is so beautiful and dangerous.
I think this pitch opens in the wrong place. I think we need to see our hero react to the news of his sister’s disappearance. We need to understand how strong their relationship is and how emotionally devastated he is, because this is in many ways what drives the story. So instead of just giving us a bunch of backstory, show us a scene where our hero is devastated and maybe vows someday to go find her. And, of course, he feels lied to by his parents.
Also, I’d like you to show me what he looks like. It’d be helpful if I had a picture of him in my head, easier for me to engage with him emotionally. And sometimes this is all just too general. Just to tell us that the teens are battling the wilderness, that’s not very exciting or dramatic. Give us the specifics, the details, the scary life-and-death details of how they could die. And honestly, I don’t really read books to see people learning crucial lessons. That last line seems like a bit of a cliché. I want to see what the ultimate stakes are. What happens if our hero fails? Your story does not build to a fiery climax and leave us hanging off the edge of the cliff by our fingernails.
Myra Kendrix
Ms. Communications by Myra Kendrix
“When do you need me to finish this?”
“By last Thursday. Can you meet that deadline?
Gwen Mongan is a Marketing Communications executive at an innovative startup bent on saving the world from global warming. Her job is exciting, her co-workers’ antics entertaining and her salary has allowed her to restore her dream home.
But then there’s her boss: the impossibly demanding and maddeningly charismatic hi-tech superstar, Jake Folton. When Jake finally pushes Gwen too far, she begins to think it’s time to move on. A former social worker who dabbles in matchmaking and runs a support group, Gwen longs to revive her youthful ambitions of bringing people together.
But Gwen soon discovers it’s going to take more spunk and ingenuity than she knew she possessed to extricate herself from a boss with a stellar track-record of getting exactly what he wants. In fact, it’s going to turn her tidy existence upside-down.
Can an unknown racehorse named Purple Lemonade, a deadly Funnel-Web Spider, and a dubious Bachelor-of-the-Year contest finally show Gwen that some people are not what they seem and some risks are worth taking?
Debut novelist Myra Kendrix brings her own experience in hi-tech marketing to this fast-paced romantic comedy, set against the vibrant cityscape of Sydney, Australia. Ms. Communications gives an inside view of the cut-throat startup scene, where today’s titans are born or burned, and sometimes the impossible becomes a reality.
The Book Doctors: I love how we know right from the beginning that our heroine has something she desperately wants. And that it’s fighting global warming, which makes us root for her. And I like that the story is set in not just the world of startups, but in the world of Australian startups. I have not heard that setting for a book yet. And I like her nemesis, “impossibly demanding and maddeningly charismatic high-tech superstar.” That’s a lot of great words put together in very economical ways. I also really like the final paragraph’s list, again it’s really fun. I don’t quite see the romance in this romantic comedy, and that’s a problem. In the very first couplet that we read, the last question doesn’t seem like realistic dialogue. Do you think it should be something more like, “Is that going to be a problem?” Because we know that they can’t actually make deadline that was last Thursday. I don’t have enough of a sense of where your novel takes us. How do the events become more tense and the stakes higher?
Ian Cahill
Pencil by Ian Cahill
Pencil is the story of Finn, corporate rising star by day, hopeless romantic by night. All he wanted for his 25th birthday was a date with the girl next door. Instead he got a strange silver envelope in the mail detailing his enrollment into a century old government program.
The law is simple. You have three pencils. You must write one sentence a day in one of the many government approved writing rooms. When your pencils are gone, so are you. The trouble is no one really knows where you go.
Suddenly, Finn’s life is torn between his new duty as a citizen and the nagging feeling of rebellion. Seeking the truth behind the program, Finn crosses paths with Mia, a fellow writer and member of a secret group of misfits looking for the same answers Finn seeks.
Slipping through the fingers of the law and digging for clues in familiar and not so familiar places, Mia leads Finn on a journey across the city and into the depths of a mammoth corporation. To keep Mia and find the truth, Finn is forced to make the ultimate decision–write or run?
The Book Doctors: I really like how much creepiness you manage to get into these 250 words. And this strange world is so strange. Three pencils. Write until the pencils are gone. Then disappear. I’ve read 10,000 pitches and never seen this before. But there aren’t enough specific details in this story. Is he excited about the strange silver envelope? Is he scared? Confused? And what kind of a world is it? I gather it’s in the future, but how is it different from our world? “Secret group of misfits” is too vague & general. “Slipping through the fingers of the law and digging for clues in familiar and not so familiar places…” isn’t exciting. I see no word pictures in my head. And what will happen if everything goes wrong? Also, there doesn’t seem to be a romance between Finn and Mia. Is there? I feel shortchanged on their relationship. I believe a couple of comparable titles would also be very helpful because I’m not quite sure exactly where this book sits on the bookshelf.
Kathryn Rountree
The Saving by Kathryn Rountree
One cool spring evening, newlywed Sarah Williams steps into her garage to find her husband, Stuart, slumped over his steering wheel, dead. Wracked by grief and thrust into a new life as a twenty-four-year-old widow, she reaches out to her older sister, Wren, and her family to help support her through a tragedy she never imagined could happen to her.
Wren Williams and her husband, Jack, wage a fierce battle with infertility, only to be met with a seemingly never-ending stream of obstacles. Just when Wren decides she can’t take one more injection or endure one more hormonal roller coaster, she discovers she is pregnant. The loss of her baby, however, leaves Wren in both shock and denial, thus alienating her from both her husband and family. With nowhere left to turn, Wren directs her search toward the supernatural, hunting for answers about the baby she lost in the most unlikeliest of places.
Set in lush southern Louisiana, the Williams sisters are faced with the unspeakable, each mired in a conflict that threatens to swallow her whole. Filled with grief, drama, and a humor that only southern women can muster in the face of life’s most difficult punches, The Saving recalls other women’s contemporary fiction, such as Caroline Leavitt’s Pictures of You, Jodi Picoult’s The Pact, and Karen White’s The Beach Trees.
The Book Doctors: I just love how quickly you take us into a situation where the stakes simply could not be any higher. Boom! We’re right in the middle of life and death. And the stakes keep getting higher. These kinds of family sagas with women trying to come to grips with grief and fertility, motherhood and death, these are the very backbone of women’s fiction. And I love your comparable titles. We’re friends with Caroline Leavitt, and she’s such a wonderful writer, the great constructor of stories. I want to know more about what makes Sarah Williams tick. What was she trying to accomplish with her life before her husband dies? Is there a through line that defines who she is? She seems to not have any personality apart from her role as grief-stricken widow. I don’t get a sense of who she is, what she looks like, what kind of human being she is. Then all of a sudden, we switch to her sister’s story. I don’t understand how Sarah’s story blends in with the story of her sister. Quite jarring, because I’m emotionally involved in Sarah’s story, then all of a sudden she’s gone from the book. I am really confused by the sudden appearance of the supernatural. You need to give me more specifics about what kind of supernatural thing you’re going to present to me. How is your supernatural element different than the supernatural elements in the countless supernatural stories that we’re bombarded with every day in our culture? And instead of telling me that your story is set in lush southern Louisiana, you have to show that to me. Wow me with how beautifully you can portray this part of the world, which is filled with wonder and magic and danger. And you tell me that the sisters are faced with this conflict, but you don’t tell me how the stories are related to each other. You don’t show me a series of events that escalate to a seemingly tragic conclusion. I have a pet peeve; I hate when people tell me that their stuff is funny. You say that there is southern humor in your book, and yet I don’t see one single piece of evidence to support that. You can’t tell me you’re funny; you have to make me laugh. You shouldn’t have to tell me that it’s filled with grief and drama either. You have to display that and make me feel it.
The Book Doctors NaNoWriMo Pitchapalooza Winner Gets 3-Book Deal with Random House
The Book Doctors are proud to announce 2013 National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) winner Stacy McAnulty got a 3-book deal from Random House for The Dino Files, in which a nine-year-old dino expert has adventures at the Dinosaur Education Center of Wyoming, run by his paleontologist grandparents.
The 2015 Book Doctors NaNoWriMo Pitchapalooza is accepting pitches from now until March 6. Just send your pitch to: nanowrimo@thebookdoctors.com. PLEASE DO NOT ATTACH YOUR PITCH, JUST EMBED IT IN THE EMAIL. All pitches must be received by 11:59PM PST on March 6, 2015. The 25 random pitches will be posted on March 15, 2015. Winners will be announced on March 31, 2015. Anyone can vote for fan favorite, so get your social media engine running as soon as the pitches go up!
Like last year, we’re offering free 20-minute consultations (worth $100) to anyone who buys a copy of The Essential Guide To Getting Your Book Published. Just attach a copy of your sales receipt to your email and we’ll set up your consultation.
It’s been a great year for Pitchapalooza winners. Cathy Camper and Raul Gonzalez III were our Pitchapalooza winners from world-famous Powell’s bookstore in Portland, Oregon. Their middle grade graphic novel, Lowriders in Space, is the first in a two-book deal with Chronicle Books. Cari Noga was the NaNoWriMo Pitchapalooza winner in 2011. Her novel, Sparrow Migrations, was a semifinalist in the 2011 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest, the spring 2013 winner of the ForeWord Firsts contest sponsored by ForeWord Reviews, and was named a literary fiction category semi-finalist in the Kindle Book Review’s 2014 Kindle Book Awards. She recently received an offer from Lake Union Publishing, an imprint of Amazon Publishing. Then there’s Pitchapalooza winner and NaNoWriMo veteran, Gennifer Albin. After she won Pitchapalooza, one of New York’s top agents sold her dystopian novel in a three-book, six-figure deal. Her third book, Unraveled, just came out this past fall. And these are just a very few of our many success stories!
Are you feeling a little unsure about exactly how to craft your pitch? We’ve got 10 Tips for Pitching:
- A great pitch is like a poem. Every word counts.
2. Make us fall in love with your hero. Whether you’re writing a novel or memoir, you have to make us root for your flawed but lovable hero.
3. Make us hate your villain. Show us someone unique and dastardly whom we can’t wait to hiss at.
4. Just because your kids love to hear your story at bedtime doesn’t mean you’re automatically qualified to get a publishing deal. So make sure not to include this information in your pitch.
5. If you have any particular expertise that relates to your novel, tell us. Establishing your credentials will help us trust you.
6. Your pitch is your audition to show us what a brilliant writer you are, it has to be the very best of your writing.
7.Don’t make your pitch a book report. Make it sing and soar and amaze.
8. A pitch is like a movie trailer. You start with an incredibly exciting/funny/sexy/romantic/etc. close-up with intense specificity, then you pull back to show the big picture and tell us the themes and broad strokes that build to a climax.
9. Leave us with a cliffhanger. The ideal reaction to a pitch is, “Oh my God, what happens next?”
10. Show us what’s unique, exciting, valuable, awesome, unexpected, about your project, and why it’s comfortable, familiar and proven.
Fifth Annual NaNoWriMo Pitchapalooza
You wrote your 50,000 words (or got pretty close!). You’re a winner. You felt the high. Now what are you going to do with your precious manuscript? That’s where we, The BookDoctors, come in.
For those of you not familiar with Pitchapalooza, here’s the skinny: You get 250 words to pitch your book. Twenty-five pitches will be randomly selected from all submissions. We will then critique the pitches online so you get to see what makes a great pitch. We will then choose one winner from the group. The winner will receive an introduction to an agent or publisher appropriate for his/her manuscript. We will also crown a fan favorite who will receive a free one-hour consult with us (worth $250).
Beginning February 6, 2015, you can email your pitch to nanowrimo@thebookdoctors.com. PLEASE DO NOT ATTACH YOUR PITCH, JUST EMBED IT IN THE EMAIL. All pitches must be received by 11:59PM PST on March 6, 2015. The 25 random pitches will be posted on March 15, 2015. Winners will be announced on March 31, 2015. Anyone can vote for fan favorite, so get your social media engine running as soon as the pitches go up!
Like last year, we’re offering free 20-minute consultations (worth $100) to anyone who buys a copy of The Essential Guide To Getting Your Book Published. Just attach a copy of your sales receipt to your email and we’ll set up your consultation.
It’s been a great year for Pitchapalooza winners. Cathy Camper and Raul Gonzalez III were our Pitchapalooza winners from world-famous Powell’s bookstore in Portland, Oregon. Their middle grade graphic novel, Lowriders in Space, is the first in a two-book deal with Chronicle Books. Cari Noga was the NaNoWriMo Pitchapalooza winner in 2011. Her novel, Sparrow Migrations, was a semifinalist in the 2011 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest, the spring 2013 winner of the ForeWord Firsts contest sponsored by ForeWord Reviews, and was named a literary fiction category semi-finalist in the Kindle Book Review’s 2014 Kindle Book Awards. She recently received an offer from Lake Union Publishing, an imprint of Amazon Publishing. Then there’s Pitchapalooza winner and NaNoWriMo veteran, Gennifer Albin. After she won Pitchapalooza, one of New York’s top agents sold her dystopian novel in a three-book, six-figure deal. Her third book, Unraveled, just came out this past fall. And these are just a very few of our many success stories!
Are you feeling a little unsure about exactly how to craft your pitch? We’ve got 10 Tips for Pitching:
1. A great pitch is like a poem. Every word counts.
2. Make us fall in love with your hero. Whether you’re writing a novel or memoir, you have to make us root for your flawed but lovable hero.
3. Make us hate your villain. Show us someone unique and dastardly whom we can’t wait to hiss at.
4. Just because your kids love to hear your story at bedtime doesn’t mean you’re automatically qualified to get a publishing deal. So make sure not to include this information in your pitch.
5. If you have any particular expertise that relates to your novel, tell us. Establishing your credentials will help us trust you.
6. Your pitch is your audition to show us what a brilliant writer you are, it has to be the very best of your writing.
7.Don’t make your pitch a book report. Make it sing and soar and amaze.
8. A pitch is like a movie trailer. You start with an incredibly exciting/funny/sexy/romantic/
9. Leave us with a cliffhanger. The ideal reaction to a pitch is, “Oh my God, what happens next?”
10. Show us what’s unique, exciting, valuable, awesome, unexpected, about your project, and why it’s comfortable, familiar and proven.